i think i might be jesus

I think I might be jesus
I feel it like I’m dayglo
I think I might be jesus
You can see it in my halo

I think my mum’s the virgin

She looks so pale and meek
She’s forever purging 
Until she starts to weep

I think I’m quite like jesus

I’ve suspected it since being told
By my grandad’s donkey
Long forgotten in days of olde
(Way back when I was a strap of a lad)
On the palm of my hand I bear stigmata
But I think that might have come
from where i was burnt with the dogend of a fag
by my blessed mum

the donkeys name was nelly

she worked on scarborough beach
she said that she’d be happy
to let me ride her twice a week
when I was off to the city 
doing my very own passion
starting at the magistrates court
where I have to report for arson
twoccing, ABH and giving coppers grief
maybe driving without a licence or a light
and breaking and entering like a thief
in the night

which proves i must be jesus

For i am the bright and morning star
Or perhaps that makes me Venus
You can never tell when you’re a messiah
I think I have been chosen
I know it in my bones
My mates call me an imposter
And say I should be stoned
I tell you I’ll die and rise tomorrow
And that’s a normal part of my ecstasy
I think I must be jesus your honour
That’s why the cops put me in chokie

I think you could be jesus the saviour
And I know you’ve been very, very bad
You shall abide with jesus doing hard labour
Young man, 
...‘cos I’m going to tell your dad.

3/1/12  - Moscow