Thursday, 14 September 2017

Vanity



i)                   O God not him 
ii)                Who
i)                   My brother - I thought he was a Buddhist
ii)                I thought I was a Buddhist too
You are!

But if this is heaven I can't be! 

She's got nice legs

Who?

That angel over there

How can you say that!! 

Because she's my sister

You sinned! 
You sinned in your heart! 
That's the same as rape! 

My ex lover, the Thai masseuse, had a bhudda in her rockery, pretty skanky one 

The lover? The rickety rockery? 
No, the bhudda. All slimey and chipped. 

Let's be clear about this..,

Let's not. Obfuscation is better. 

Ok... So you didn't expect to see your brother ?

I suffered the expectation I'd meet myself coming here. My demon self. What else would be the point? 
But I hoped to see you too.

Me? I'm just a guy, probably you're imagining me into existence. I feel out of place. 

Yes, there's a meta theatrical air about you. Weren't you in some Pirandello thing?
Pause  

Don't you hope to see ...

Don't say it 

Well, 

I hope not to 

Not to ?

Not to. Not to see him. Her. It. 
But maybe more of her? 

How can you justify yourself! 

It's what got me here!

Maybe there's been a mistake? 

There's no mistake. 
The resolution is in the can. 

Which resolution? 

THE resolution. 
The one which will not be televised.
The immaculate resolution. 

Yeah, right...

The one at the point of infinity 
The one with the lark singing at the gate. The one where the parallel point meets the beginning of time, the one where incommensurability bends - The one where the fork meets the river, the one where we all make amends. The one..

Can you stop that please?
 The one where  illusions flow like Yuri geller... 

Enough 

What?

That jiggly thing you're doing. 

I was ...

I know what you was 

Contemplating out loud. 

Don't 

Errr

Please

Well, you know, for the sake of equanimity and all that. 

For heaven's sake! 
Stop! 
Pause 

Why should I?

Tutututitu...

Look! 

We should wrestle!

What on earth for? 

Because it's metaphorical. And we're not on earth. We're out of this world. 

Where? 

Anywhere. Anywhere and everywhere. 

Where should we wrestle 

Morecambe? 

I don't think so. 

Japanese or Turkish? 

Soup?

Wrestling. 

Japanese. 

Not Turkish? 

Too oily. 

Sałty is better than oily? 

It's more appropriate. 

Oil is quite, significant.,, 

It's touchy. 

What about lamps? Isn't there something in that?

Stretching it. 

The lamps?

The point. Stretching the point. 

Salt it is then. 

The salt of the earth.

How shall I regain my saltiness? 

Yes, that's satisfactory, 

Better than "how shall i regain my oiliness?" in any case 

Much better 

Ow - what are you doing, ouch! What's that?

Rock Salt! It's from the Himalayas. 

You threw Himalayan rock salt in my face! 

It's a ritual. 

It's annoying! It stings! I'll bite your nose! See how YOU like it! 

Random Violence, casual misogyny, 

Vanity 

Vanity! 

All is vanity! 

They hug. 
(Together): resolved!

Wait, what's she looking at?

Who? 

That Angel?

How do you know she's not a he?

Angels are she's! Like cats. She cats. The smell of their own feathers doesn't even corrupt and insatiate them.

Angels are sexless. 

Like lady boys?

Like sculptures 

She's coming over

I'll kiss that Virgin over there inferring familiarity and legitimacy and then she will think we are proper guests. It's probably a wedding. I'll kiss the bride! 
Angelicus interruptus.  

'Scuse me gents... Can I see your invitations? 

No

Why's that? 

I haven't got an invitation. I'm a gatecrasher  

Then I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

Very well, may I leave by the front entrance please. I came the back way and I haven't got the faintest clue where I am. 

Certainly, sir. 

You're next! 

I get that. Is there anywhere around here that I can nick a bottle of champagne? 

Over there mate


Thanks. Everything is white. The isle of white. The Skyle of white. The golden mile of sun bright white. Though your sins be scarlet they shall be made as white as Snow White. How many bottles of champagne shall I nick before Gloria jobs worth comes back and gives me the Emily Bronte treatment?

to be continued...


15/09/17


















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