Pin prick.

It feels like she has pricked me
this polyphonic hologram
With a thousand and seventeen holes in a thousand and nineteen places
(Mainly the chest and eyes)
And that the song-white blood 
Oobee doozing from these insignificant wounds 
Is feeding, each one, a tiny worm
And each worm in turn becomes fat engorged and bloated
Gluttoned up on the edifying content of my talent and vitality

What I wanna do right:
Is take a huge breath and hold it in like Houdini
Whilst she punches me in the stomach
Causing the worms to shoot out 
and immolate themselves against the cave wall
Leaving me in peace – exorcised – released
Like a prairie beast or forest stag

My wounds at last no longer seeping 
into the multiple tiny dart holes of love

Which otherwise would inevitably open up 
a torrent of denudation
In the star crossed aorta of my scattered little heart.

Begging under the marble arch of these demi-tragic circumstances
I ask for an unusual amount from a kindly gentleman
One pound fifty instead of the usual quid
Naturally he queries this unbeggarly sum
Until I add with a costermongers flourish
That I am saving up for an overdose
At which point the kindly gentleman becomes extremely convivial
and most happy and eager to comply
having been supplied a point of concordance and agreed
with such a practical explanation for my temerity

if this train turned over as if a bomb had bitten it now
this death trap would become a tunnel of love
the strangers of this carriage parish 
would fall over backwards instantly at once
to help each other 
as if they were long lost sisters and brothers
or war had been declared
the survivors going on
to make bonds of fellowship and love for life
not just for catastrophus
(for all that any of them were contemplating suicide or not)

I want her to prick me
I feel the hot desire 
to bleed my scarlet show of compulsion
Into her snow fox white
Nest of fresh plucked down and preeny feathers
That’s my fantasy
They feed it to you don’t they
Blood and shame all drugged in sugar
From the mothers breast.

12/07/09