someone pretending to be someone else

I want to be someone 

I want to become something

I want to make something 

of my life 

I want to be anywhere 

other than here 

in this state of being 

My dogs eating mushrooms 

Tobes come on

Err,,, Yeah? 

so how do I 

because I'm Miserable 

because I'm desperate 

because I’m  inadequate 

because I'm ashamed 

because I'm weak 

because I'm not 

because I'm not 

Heavyweight Champion of the World

The fastest man on earth 

Rich famous knowledgeable successful A saviour 

A saint a Hero 

because I'm not 

any of the above 

because I'm not 

loved needed wanted 

Desired/Adored 

revered feared 

because I don't have 

authority respect intimacy 

fulfillment satisfaction honesty 

Ability Talent 

Because I'm here 

well at the moment 

here is in the wild wild woods 

Being entertained by 

the myriad number 

of Golden Leaves 

falling falling 

in the perpetual cycle 

of birth and rebirth 

As they are apt to do 

and I understand 

that I'm just a fucking

Leaf like all of these leaves

and I understand 

that I'm just a f******leaf

and I have my individual fingerprints 

And you know I'm just one of many 

but I want to be the 

The leaf which Van Gogh paints 

that Shakespeare describes 

that the child gives to his mother

I want to be the Chosen Leaf

I want to be different 

to all the other leaves

and how can I accomplish that 

I want to be 

not the leaf that I am 

the common dirty trampled 

Brown diseased Leaf 

which is dissolving

in the mud and the sleet 

and the dog dirt 

Speaking of which 

Tobes Toby Toby Toby 

Come on Tobe

Good boy! 

He's not bothered about this s*** 

this dog - doesn't bother him 

one little bit 

he's pure

I don't want to be pure like him 

I want to pretend 

to be someone that I'm not 

that's how I will become somebody 

that's how I will become 

somebody else 

but you see you know 

my dog doesn't really 

have that capacity 

he can be conditioned 

he can be not pure 

he can be impure 

because of my conditioning of him 

my domestication 

But me I wannabe be 

someone else 

somewhere else 

something else 

with a perfect script 

and control and obedience 

at my Fingertips.